The particulars

Posted on Thu 11/05/09 in Fatherhood

So, it’s been a long time since I’ve documented the humor of parenting. This is partially due to the incredible lack of time life affords me. Not that I’m complaining, it’s just that my creative writing allotment has been dissolving. But, with the new website design, I feel compelled. A lot has been going on in our lives as parents. But, I’d like to take a moment to dwell on the particulars and idiosyncrasies of my children.

Ethan is a prided manipulator. He is very bright and likes to try to talk his way into getting the most out of his request. For example, a conversation might go like this.

Ethan: Dad, can I have a drink.
Me: Sure, you can have some water.
Ethan: How ‘bout juice-water?
Me: OK.
Ethan: How ‘bout just juice?
Me: No
Ethan: OK, just juice-water.

This applies to milk, cookies, how long we’re staying at the park, how many shows to watch, stickers, toothpicks, dust, air… you get the point.

Ethan also likes to pour his drinks, help cook, and pick his snacks out. I find the snack-picking process to be annoyingly amusing. Annoying in the sense that when he asks for a snack, I know as soon as I say yes and he denies fruit and veggies, he’ll ask for me to pick him up so he can pick from the snack cabinet (which has nuts and granola bars, and gold fish. So, I pick him up and he scans the snack cabinet, saying “ummmmmmm”… and then, inevitably, he asks for something like chocolate pudding, cookies, or to make cupcakes. Then, he’ll settle for an apple. Annoying, and yet, amusing.

McKenzie has been doing something funny lately in the same manner. Beth has place some Dixie cups in the kitchen for water or whatever. McKenzie strolls over and says, in her best 19 month voice, “Cup!” She stands by until someone gets her a cup. She then, as expected, slides over to the cabinet with the baking supplies and begs for marshmallows. She won’t take the marshmallows in her hand. She wants them in the cup. Once in the cup, the transition to her mouth takes only a second, and she’s panhandling for more marshmallows as fluffy white sugar oozes out of her eyes and ears.

Bedtime usually ends with Ethan and I reading books in his bed. Very often he picks the same books several nights in a row. In fact, one night he picked out two “Cat in the Hat” books, as we have two copies. After reading the first, I asked him which book he wanted next. He pointed to the other “Cat in the Hat” book. “You want the same book?”, I asked. He snickered and nodded. It was a goof. He was toying with me. Each glance towards him between pages met hidden laughter. I’d been had. But, so what! It was pretty crafty.

Some nights after books, Ethan suggests, “Let’s talk.” He then picks a few topics… God, spiders, blood, the Jews in Egypt, superheros, strangers, the moon, stars, boats, gravity, juice, his birthday, his pleading for me to change my birthday to the same day as his, the Internet, and other sorts of stuff. It is absolutely precious. I’m usually floored at his understanding of some topics. He often asks me the same questions; I think to confirm he really is getting it or that the story hasn’t changed. I’m happy to say that catalyst of my most introspective thinking is my three year old son.