It sticks to the walls

Posted on Wed 01/28/09 in Fatherhood

“Yes, Ethan — it does stick to the walls,” I confirmed. Little did I know just how bad it was.

Potty training stinks (literally), at least at our house. We’re training Ethan now. Peeing in the toilet is no problem, although he still wets the bed if we give him drinks before he falls asleep. And occasionally he’s having too much fun to stop and hit the bathroom, so he’ll pee wherever he’s at. But, yesterday I was served something I would only wish upon my worst enemy.

Beth was out, and I was playing with McKenzie while Ethan was in the other room on the computer. Ethan then suddenly appeared, and he told me that he had to go poop. My face lit up with the exciting prospect of finally reducing our diaper consumption. I then looked down to discover that Ethan had no diaper on. Where could it be? As I rounded the corner to the living room, I felt the same feeling as when you see the Hoover Dam for the first time.

“Stand right here and do NOT move,” I instructed. I left the room, scooped up McKenzie, plopped her into her bed (she is very unhappy about this), grabbed a fresh pack of wipes, and headed back to where I had left Ethan. But, as I turned the corner this time, I found Ethan wiping the poop on the wall.

“It sticks on the wall,” Ethan proudly explained. I glanced over at the huge pile of stink next to the computer desk.

While McKenzie screamed in the background, I cleaned the mess. What really kept this exciting was that each time I thought I was finished, I would find another piece of dung slung to some remote area of the room or smashed into a plant or a rug.

I am proud to say that by the time this article went to press, Ethan mastered the idea that poop belongs in the toilet. Wet beds are becoming pretty scarce, too. Whew!