Don't you understand?

Posted on Thu 09/25/08 in Fatherhood

When I became a parent, I found myself hearing things coming from my mouth that seemed unnatural. Discipline, for example, is something I never really had to execute on someone else. So, the first time I had to look my smiling son in the eyes and tell him to stay in the corner, I had a hard time holding it together and not bursting into a fit of laughter. It was funny to hear myself saying these types of things. Over time it seems more natural.

Last night, however, I found myself laughing at myself again. Beth was out for the evening, so I have the daunting task of putting McKenzie to bed while Ethan is still awake. I explain to Ethan that I am going to put McKenzie to bed, so that he and I can play until bedtime. So, what happens after that goes like this this....

I turn the lights off in McKenzie's room and start rocking her and feeding her some milk (not off the tap, btw). She closes her eyes and begins to relax her body.

"DADDY! BRING KENZIE OUT TO MY DANCE PARTY!!!!!", Ethan shouts as he enters the room. I hush him and motion him to get out and be quiet.

The lights go on.

I look down to find McKenzie looking up at me. I stand up, put her in the crib, and head out to explain to Ethan how this all works again. He acknowledges my intention verbally, "Daddy -- you put sister to bed; then I can have a snack and chocolate milk and watch a movie." I confirm, "Yes... well, no chocolate milk."

I return to the room to pickup McKenzie, who is now screaming her little head off. We sit down and begin the routine again. Ethan returns to the door and cracks it open a bit. He begins whispering something about bats seeing in the dark, but he can tell that I cannot understand him. I shoo him away and whisper back, "OK. I'll be out in a few minutes. Just go in the other room." He must have interpreted my shewing as, "Hey! Why don't you turn on the lights and start begging me to let sister come play!!!!"

I'm getting EXTREMELY frustrated at this point. I put McKenzie down and stand up, as Ethan darts out of the room. I rush out to the living room and whisper-yell, "Don't you understand? I put her to bed, and then you and I can play. When you come in the room and wake her up, then she isn't sleeping, and we cannot play. Doesn't that make sense? Don't you understand? Now, stay here and don't talk or do anything. I'll be out in 5 minutes."

"And CHOCOLATE MILK????"

I return to the room to begin the successful attempt. I laugh out loud at what I just said to my two-year-old son. How ridiculous? He doesn't understand that concept. Or am I the one getting played?