Posted on Mon 10/09/06 in South Florida, Read the post
https://www6.hsmv.state.fl.us/dlcheck/findcustomer
In Florida, you can enter two personal contacts in case of an emergency. An officer can run your license and view the contacts. I think it’s a good idea, especially for minors.
Posted on Wed 05/17/06 in South Florida, Read the post
Residents of major cities often boast that their city has the worst traffic or that their community has the toughest ghettos. But, no community outside of South Florida can claim their drivers to be the rudest. Finally, we are recognized!!!
Posted on Thu 03/30/06 in South Florida, Read the post
Last night I attended our homeowner association’s annual circus meeting. Most of the content was laughable. I found comments made by one new resident to be especially ridiculous, and here is a summary of her comments:
1.
Posted on Thu 03/09/06 in South Florida, Read the post
Today I received a phone call at work that went something like this:
Person on phone: Hi, My driver is trying to get to your office. Can you give me directions?
Me: Where is your driver coming from?
Person on phone: I don’t know.
Me: Well…? Do you want directions from nowhere?
Person on phone: I’ll find out where he is.
Posted on Sun 02/19/06 in South Florida, Read the post
Today, it seemed like the people of South Florida were teamed up against me. It was like they all decided to act more brainless and idiotic. While I am used to the regular nuisance of living with the scum of this area, I really felt pinned today.
Posted on Fri 01/06/06 in South Florida, Read the post
Posted on the Sun Sentinel website by a reader:
All of you smart Floridians who had the great fortune of growing up there, as I did, listen up.
Posted on Thu 01/05/06 in South Florida, Read the post
In Spanish, the word bomba means pump in English. So, I am thinking about that…
I am surprised that more takedowns do not occur in the more culturally diverse airports in the United States because of this language translation. I’d figure that in airports like Miami or Dallas, there would be more occasions where an English-speaking passenger overhears only bomba from a conversation a few Spanish-speakers are having nearby.
Posted on Sat 12/31/05 in Fatherhood, Read the post
While I was waiting in the deli line at Publix today, I looked down to my side and saw a five-year-old kid sporting earbud headphones and an iPod.
Posted on Tue 12/13/05 in South Florida, Read the post
(at customer service desk)
customer: “I think I actually owe you money.”
employee: “No. I’m finna explain what the system did.
Posted on Thu 11/03/05 in South Florida, Read the post
You can sue me for the run-on article title, but I don’t care because I just heard the GREATEST traffic story from a good buddy of mine.
EVERYONE knows that if traffic lights are not working at an intersection (meaning no lights flashing or anything), the intersection is supposed to be treated like a 4-way stop. This means everyone takes turns.
Posted on Sat 10/29/05 in South Florida, Read the post
Last night I visited the local cold slab ice cream joint—the kind of place where they mix the ice cream and toppings on a slab of cold rock right in front of you. While watching a male employee assist some other customers with their order, I saw something revolting.
As the employee eagerly shouted with excitement about something ice cream-related, a sloppy 4oz comet of spit goo drooled out of his mouth, splattering centimeters away from somebody’s creamy chocolate delight.
Posted on Wed 10/26/05 in South Florida, Read the post
The electricity gods of
Posted on Mon 10/17/05 in South Florida, Read the post I declare today to be Floridian Day. I choose today because in South Florida, the whether outside is exactly paradise. And it is a day for Floridians to enjoy for ourselves because the seasonal, northern visitors and tourists have not yet flown south for the Winter.Floridian Day
Posted on Wed 10/12/05 in South Florida, Read the post
I attended funeral on Wednesday for a young woman who is the daughter of a family friend of my parents. The funeral was held at a Jewish temple in south Florida. After the funeral service, my wife and I went across the street to the local salad and sandwich shop for lunch.
Posted on Sat 10/01/05 in South Florida, Read the post
Through talking with some of the local hoodlums the other day, I learned of a new trend in teenage amusement. Bored, unsupervised kids, like to get stoned or drunk and sit near a Taco Bell drive-through. They try to guess how many tacos each car will order.
Posted on Sat 09/24/05 in South Florida, Read the post
Today I made my first visit to the Broward County Landfill. I’ll admit that I was slightly nervous; I imagined I would be the lone pickup amongst hundreds of angry sanitarian engineers in mammoth tip-style vehicles. I was unsure as to how the dumping process worked, and I wondered how I was going to unload 560lbs of sturdy furniture alone—my pregnant wife as my wingman.
Posted on Tue 09/13/05 in South Florida, Read the post
Tonight, Beth and I went to our favorite local pizza joint. We’ve been going there for over a year, almost weekly; they know us by name and greet us like we are family. Until about a month ago, there were three lovely servers from Minnesota; they were always chipper, friendly, and gave excellent service.
Posted on Thu 09/01/05 in South Florida, Read the post
I am hearing from my co-workers that Governor Jeb Bush declared that we have about six (6) more days of fuel left before we run out. I figure I should go out and fill my lawn mower with gas because you know how grass grows during the summertime in Florida. To be safe, I should fill twenty 5-gallon tanks of reserve gas just to be safe—so I will have enough gas to keep my yard looking nice for the rest of the summer in case the gas shortage materializes.
Posted on Sun 08/28/05 in South Florida, Read the post
Beth and I were VERY hungry and went out to breakfast about 10am this morning. We checked out the following places before eating just after 11am:
..
Posted on Fri 08/26/05 in South Florida, Read the post
Good morning. It’s almost 5am on Friday, and storm rain bands from Tropical Storm Katrina are continuing to drop some heavy winds and flooding in South Florida.
Thanks to the brave workers of
Posted on Tue 08/23/05 in South Florida, Read the postLa Leche Kid's Meal
Posted on Thu 08/11/05 in South Florida, Read the post
The funny orange people? Oh, you must be talking about the school zone crossing guards sporting their proud, bright orange vest. Sure, I know them—they volunteer to help kids safely cross the street in traffic. One might think that the sight of them is a clear indication of a school zone (along with the signs and walking children), but, this is not the case for everyone.
Posted on Fri 07/29/05 in South Florida, Read the post
My parents recently purchased a puppy from Wizard of Claws in Pembroke Pines, FL. We should have seen the red flags go up the moment we pulled into the parking lot. But, we didn’t, and now we are wondering whether there is something very wrong going on at this place.
Posted on Thu 07/28/05 in South Florida, Read the post
The number of times I think “Where is a cop when I need one,” during my daily drive is sickening.
But, last night, my prayers were answered. Beth and I were driving home from mom’s house last night down Pines Blvd in moderate traffic.
Posted on Wed 07/27/05 in South Florida, Read the post
Nova High School – Davie, Florida – Alumni Site
David Martin (‘95) was hired as the new Head Football Coach at Nova yesterday. Khalid Abdullah (‘95), Melvin Jones (‘95), Bob Mullen (‘96), Chris Orazi (‘95), and Tom Joyce (‘95) will be joining David at Nova as well.
Posted on Sun 07/24/05 in South Florida, Read the post
Hey, is that rain I see ahead? I think it is. Maybe I should turn on my flashing hazard lights so the other drivers will know it’s raining ahead. Yes, that is what I will do. I mean, if I don’t alert them about the rain, they might forget to turn on their windshield wipers!
Posted on Mon 07/18/05 in South Florida, Read the post
From my cozy office chair, I can see the crew setting up for a filming session of what looks like the movie Miami Vice. So far, a black stretch Hummer limo and an RV have setup. Oh, there goes a white van with dark, black windows through the open gates. Is it strange that the gates to the airfield are open and nobody seems to mind? At least I am watching for suspicious activity. At least I am serving the public by providing surveillance. Well, they just shut the gates. I’m very relieved of duty.
Maybe I’ll see someone famous doing something naughty.
Posted on Sat 07/02/05 in South Florida, Read the post
We bought our house from an older Jamaican couple about a year ago. One of their prides was twenty-five foot mango tree in the backyard. They claimed this to be no regular mango tree; they said it was the kind called Julia, a very sweet and difficult kind to grow.
Posted on Tue 05/31/05 in South Florida, Read the post
I was just made aware of the major event coinciding with my bachelor party:
Yes, our crew of hetero-bachelor-party-goers will be arriving in Key West, FL as PrideFest kicks off its week of gay celebration.
Posted on Thu 05/19/05 in South Florida, Read the post
I stopped in to the local bagel shop in Cooper City this morning to pickup bagels and nova for the office and a customer who is coming to town from Bolivia. I walked in ten minutes after 6am, which was twenty minutes before they were scheduled to open; they were happy to serve me anyway. I listed the food I needed and asked for a cup of coffee to complete my order.
Posted on Sat 05/07/05 in Technical Interleude, Read the post
Last night I stepped into my local CompUSA to hopelessly look for a SCSI terminator, which I didn’t really think they would stock.
I stepped up to the tech counter to take a chance they had them or knew of a local shop that might carry them. A tall, slightly overweight black man emerged sloooooowly from the large tech dungeon in the back.