When getting service, it never hurts to ask

Posted on Fri 07/31/09 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I replaced nine windows in my house recently. Although we tried, my neighbor and I could not save the little sensors on the old windows that were used for our alarm system. Not a big deal.

Hair-dresser Madness

Posted on Mon 09/15/08 in Fatherhood, Read the post

So, last week was that time of the quarter again — haircut day. It’s not that I don’t like haircuts, I just don’t like taking the time to get one. You see, in high school I played football and shaved my head (no hair-dresser required). Then, in college I let my hair grow for two years (again, no hair-dresser required). But, on occasion, Beth tells me it’s time for a cut.

Japanimation + Finnish Tunes = Loituma Girl

Posted on Fri 08/25/06 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Watch this.

Once you come out of the trance, read this.

Now, I’m not into Japanimation or Finnish folk music, but I’m into this.

Update 8/28/06:
Here is the actual band performing the whole song. They look tough.

Gas Talk

Posted on Thu 04/27/06 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

With gas prices approaching $3/gallon for regular, eighty-seven octane, I hear more people chatting and complaining about how much it hurts their pocketbook. I hear this at the mall, on the radio, at the pump… everywhere.

What really irritates me is that people say things like, “It costs $80 to fill my mini-van!” What exactly does that mean? Maybe you have a 45 gallon tank or that $80 will last you two months.

A couple of End-of-March quickies for the soul

Posted on Thu 03/30/06 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

• “Education is a noose for inequality.”—me being deep and inspired by hearing an interview with the former President of Brazil.

• People who own dogs always think other dogs are sniffing them because they smell their dog on them.

Generic Automated Madlibs Response

Posted on Wed 03/08/06 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Below is the disappointing response I received from a bank with regard to whether they plan on offering a service, followed by the original message I sent customer service. How generic can you get?!?!? She took a template and filled in a couple words and maybe a sentence.

I’m afraid I’ll be taking my business elsewhere.

Super Mario Brothers Contest

Posted on Sun 03/05/06 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I watched this talent show video this morning of two guys beating Super Mario Brothers on the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) in under six minutes.

At an air show at Opa Locka airport in something like 1989, I won a similar competition. First prize was a huge Mario Brothers beach towel.

Secret Social Security Law?

Posted on Fri 03/03/06 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

*Last Update: 3/3/06

The following was sent to me from a friend of mine of nearly twenty years. I would like to hear from you if you’ve had a related experience. Laraine was happy to let me post this on this glorious website.

Corporate Bull

Posted on Thu 02/16/06 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Below is a submission to CompUSA’s in-store comments form on their website:

The following was written quickly in an email to a friend
and modified slightly for the sake of letting you know
what is going on in your stores. Having been a
supervisor at Best Buy, I KNOW that you want to know
about these things.

Last week I ordered something online for pickup at
CompUSA.

Household items you are most disappointed to find you ran out of...

Posted on Sun 01/15/06 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

This morning, I was nearly done cooking pancakes for breakfast when I frantically began to look for the syrup. I couldn’t find any. I began to recall that the last time we had pancakes – had we used the last drop of syrup? Had we not bought more since then? Didn’t I tell Beth to put it on the shopping list? Beth heard me mumbling from the other room and joined the search. She found it. And it was the best breakfast we’d ever had.

What else have I eaten?

Posted on Thu 12/15/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Was the soda machine dispensing soda? Or was it really dispensing some soda-like substance chemically developed from nuclear waste.

Intelligent Design (ID)

Posted on Fri 12/09/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

“The theory of Intelligent Design holds that certain features of the universe and of living things are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as natural selection.”
—

This is SO wrong. *Updated*

Posted on Fri 12/09/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I just received the following email after purchasing a killer deal from www.sears.com.

Resist the Urge

Posted on Wed 11/30/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Last night Beth and I were watching Curb Your Enthusiasm, the HBO comedy TV show featuring and written by Larry David, the creator of eternally-referenced sitcom,

Credit Card Roulette

Posted on Wed 11/16/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I’m surprised I never heard of this concept before last night, but it’s pretty cool.

Basically, when you go out to eat or drink w/ your friends and the check comes, instead of splitting it, everyone throws their credit card into a hat, and the server randomly chooses one. The one chosen has to pick up the entire check.

Where do I belong?

Posted on Sat 11/05/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Pretend I am a radio station which proclaims itself as “Christian Pop.”

Would you list me under “Religious” or “Pop” music stations?

Halloween 2005

Posted on Tue 11/01/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Immediately after I opened the door to a group of trick or treaters…

Bye, Bye Mole

Posted on Thu 10/20/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I have had a small mole between my nose and upper lip.
This morning while shaving, I removed it. It is 8:30am and is still bleeding.

Smiling can help you lose weight.

Posted on Thu 10/06/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I’ve heard that smiling burns calories.

Let’s assume that smiling burns 1 calorie per minute.
So, if a person could smile the entire night while they were sleeping, they could burn an additional 360 calories per night (based on 6 hours of sleep).

Just One Droplet

Posted on Wed 10/05/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

When I was driving to work this morning, God showed himself to me. Very strange feeling. I looked up onto my windshield as I stopped at a red light, and I saw one single droplet of water, alone, and not moving.

Space Time Continuum Discovered in Cable Television

Posted on Tue 09/27/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Last night I fell asleep watching the Tennessee vs. LSU football game, around the middle of the fourth quarter. Since Beth is out of town, I left the TV on all night.

Which is worse? Telephone Scams or Penis Enlargements Ads

Posted on Fri 09/23/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I’m not sure which irritates me more:

Forwarded emails warning me about scams OR Spam emails insisting that I need to enlarge my penis.

My considerations:

1. Emails that are mass forwarded can be modified to induce scams of their own.

Xamichee.net gots style

Posted on Sun 09/11/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Ant Marathon

Posted on Wed 08/31/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

While I was urinating after lunch today, I had the pleasure of watching a single black ant hustling around the rim of the open metal spray can that sits on the toilet tank. While I was standing there, he did four laps. I can only imagine how many he must have done before I began watching. How many did he do after I left? Is he still going? I ate an ant once. Maybe he is training for an all-ant search and rescue squad. I know the people ‘round the gulf coast area could sure use a squad like that; water doesn’t ever seem to stop an ant.

20 Week Ultrasound - Boy or Girl?

Posted on Mon 08/08/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Beth and I went to the doc’s office this morning for our 20-week ultrasound. So far, it is healthy and IT’S A BOY!

New Career Opportunity: Space Law Enforcement

Posted on Fri 08/05/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I received an email from a co-worker this morning which triggered some thoughts about the current Space Shuttle Discovery mission, named STS-114, which is going on at this very moment.

My entire life, I have known NASA to be synonymous with space travel (like Kleenex and tissue). But, I do not believe my children will be able to say the same thing.

Annual Credit Report Our Government's Best Kept Secret

Posted on Thu 08/04/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Our federal government’s Federal Trade Commission is allowing most of us to an annual credit report from the three major credit reporting companies…

Google Answers Researcher - My Dream Job

Posted on Tue 07/26/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I always dreamed of sitting atop the mountains of Lake Tahoe and making a living off being a wiseman. I imagine hordes of knowledge-seekers lining up for miles to ask me questions.
I figure this “job” is out of reach.

Home Ownership Projects

Posted on Thu 07/21/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I’ve decided to compile a list of what I call “HOPs”, or home ownership projects, which I’ve overcome since the purchase of my first home just over a year ago. Now, keep in mind, I have a background in computers, not construction or plumbing or electricity or laying tiles or hanging stuff on the wall or any of that regular stuff that most adult men know. But, I am as resourceful as a librarian and do posses an incredibly logistical mind (if I do say so myself). I think I’ve been scared to take on projects because I’ve always been terrified that I will do it all wrong.

That has all changed…

Sorta Completely Random Thougts of Yesterday

Posted on Mon 07/18/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

As I was eating dinner last night with Beth, I began to envision that next year on this date, we will have our child eating with us. As we begin to transform our office into a nursery, our pregnancy becomes more realistic. I am anxious to see how our child resembles each of us in different ways.

...

On Six Feet Under last night, one topic was chromosome problems discovered during childbirth. This was quite timely since Beth and I are going to the doc’s today for the regular testing of the same types of problems. The show discussed, in detail, dealing with this issue.

...

Thinking about cancer and other diseases we face as we get older caused me to reflect on the regular perils of youth I was able to escape from. I am so glad that I survived my youth without contracting STDs and HIV (mostly). I have never been to jail or been seriously injured. Now that I am married and starting a family, I feel that I have made it out alive. Now I will be faced with new obstacles.

Counter Strike is Real

Posted on Tue 07/12/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

If you’ve ever played the video game Counter Strike, this video is a Must-See.

Shooting Blanks

Posted on Wed 06/29/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Why does it make the hair on my neck stand up every time I use the stapler and it’s empty? Is this a male ego-related problem?

It happens about once a week at the office. I know when I have a lot of items to staple that I will probably run out during that job, but it’s not like I can add some staples before they run out! Isn’t that against the stapler end-user licence agreement or something?!?!?

Path of Life

Posted on Tue 06/28/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I’d like to reflect on the idea that each of our lives follows a path. I occasionally think about the events and decisions that have brought me to my current existence.

Does your company sell brains?

Posted on Wed 06/22/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I do computer-related jobs on the side. I have accounts with a couple of companies who only sell to resellers (like me). One of the companies has a distro center in Tampa, FL, about one shipping day from me. The other one has a distro center in New Jersey, about three shipping days from here (plus a charge card handling fee). So, I rarely buy from the latter company. When I do, I talk with the one person I’ve talked to from the first time I called. Well, after not making a purchase for X-period of time, my account goes into to a grab bag and any sales rep in the company can contact me. So every couple of weeks or so, I get (what I consider to be) spammed with deals from every friggin’ person in the company. It’s become really irritating…

Kitten Needs Home *SOLVED*

Posted on Sun 06/19/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I found this kitten at Opa Locka Airport; it had been abandonded by its mother, so I brought it home temporarily. We are looking for a permanent home for him. Ultimately, we will have to bring him to the humane society to be given away to someone—we hope to find a home through other means. Does anyone know someone who will give him a good home?

...

Kryptos Puzzle

Posted on Thu 06/09/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I am intrigued about a sculpture created by James Sanborn called Kryptos.

Sugar Boots

Posted on Sat 05/28/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Here is a picture of the infamous Sugar Boots (a.k.a Sugie).

Number Fifty-Two

Posted on Fri 05/27/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Today is the release of Adam Sandler’s version of The Longest Yard , starring Burt Reynolds. As a tribute, I am posting this summary of my life’s experience playing football.

Mamones Chinos

Posted on Sun 05/22/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I am craving Mamones Chinos, a small spiky-looking fruit found in Costa Rica. They are usually found red in color, but here is a picture of a yellow one:

A Reflection on Fashion, Compromise and Love

Posted on Fri 05/20/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I was having a conversation with Beth (my girlfriend) yesterday about my fashion situation. She was telling me that Structure has some of the shirts I like on sale. Immediately, I began to do the math….

Nathan Wilson

Posted on Thu 05/19/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I am sick of tired of Teleperformance India calling me on behalf of Chase credit card. I remember that my old roomate, Kent, used to get calls from them years after cancelling his credit card.

So, today, I stayed on the line a bit longer than usual to find out a bit more about the calling situation.

Fat People Taste Great

Posted on Fri 05/13/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Why are fat people fat? How exactly did they get that way? Is it genetic or do they just eat too much of the bad stuff? Do they love Big Macs more than the skinny guy does? Is it because they watch too much Jerry Springer while eating an entire bag of Oreos?

The Homo Project

Posted on Sun 05/08/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

The pain Catholic homosexuals face each day must be excruciating. Along with facing the judgement of God, they face the judgement of man, in the form of confessions to their priest. They are condemned for alleged sin and disobedience of their God.

Please hit me!

Posted on Fri 05/06/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

This morning my sister, Kimberly, was in her third car accident in as many years. She is not injured, so far as she can tell. Rush hour traffic on the East-West Expressway (highway 408) in Orlando, FL was the scene.

What time is it?

Posted on Thu 05/05/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

what time is it? 4:30. is it late? naw, it’s early.

The above is lyrics from some happy-go-lucky band of the 90s, whose name slips my mind right now.

Good day

Posted on Tue 05/03/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

I am feeling really good about things today. I am very thankful.

Recursion, please.

Posted on Mon 04/11/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Being a computer dork my whole life, I find things many funny that most people think are stupid. This is something I have fully accepted.

Hold the Internet Hostage

Posted on Wed 04/06/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

When is Steven Spielberg going to direct a movie about the Internet being held hostage? Although it is nearly impossible, it could.

my cat wants to say something

Posted on Tue 03/15/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

[‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’jwjhnunm 0-z9 q2/.kjjjjjjk , mj ml.6y7t78rfe4vftvgtgfp
”
012012.

Snowboard Fantasy

Posted on Fri 03/11/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

We are one week away from our annual trip with the Alleavitch family to Lake Tahoe, CA. Last night I had a dream about snowboarding. It was awesome…

i was just crusing… hitting little kickers and pulling 360s and 180s easy, without losing speed… i was like that guy at the beach who is rollerblading in short shorts and headphones, dancing and spinning around like a gaylord, listening to Cindy Lauper—except i was cool.

the life of DW (email from dan to me)

Posted on Fri 03/04/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

Neck,

I went to Publix yesterday to buy beer, cigarettes, and cheetos (breakfast of champions). In front of the florest area there was this little old Jewish guy, named Doug Goldman I think, who was singing Michael Bolton tunes through a little crappy Radio Shack karaoke machine and a Casio keyboard rockin the beat. He was crooning like he was Robert Goulet…but he was the worst singer I have ever heard.

the answer?

Posted on Fri 03/04/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

today my brain told me this:

There is no answer. There is only the end.

what is country music?

Posted on Tue 03/01/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

xamichee: neck, whats up with avril lavigne all trying to be the next shania twain

theInspectaNeck: what exactly is “being shania twain?”

xamichee: a crossover sensation that everyone loves and can’t get enough of

theInspectaNeck: that’s what i want to be.
theInspectaNeck: the question at hand really is, “What is Country?”

xamichee: man, ever since i saw big & rich with the cowboy rapper at nba all star game halftime, i just don’t know anymore
xamichee: save a horse, ride a cowboy. not that is something that even hank and waylon wouldn’t sing about
xamichee: and they were country rebels

theInspectaNeck: to me, country music is about gun racks, boot racks, belt buckle racks and racks for hanging your racks on.

today's aspiration

Posted on Mon 02/28/05 in My So Called Blog, Read the post

today, i came home from work with a severe tension headache in my neck.